Even if you don’t know what FOMO is, you’ve definitely experienced FOMO in your life.
How do you feel when you scroll through social media? Imagine you see a friend’s post, vacationing in tropical paradise. An ex, recently engaged, smiling happily with their new partner. An old colleague whose career has taken off and is living a glamorous jet-set lifestyle.
Seeing other people’s success can be motivational. It can inspire you to aim higher and make positive changes. But if looking at seemingly-perfect lives makes you feel a twang of jealousy, don’t worry. You’re not alone!
This phenomenon is known as FOMO, or fear of missing out. It’s a common affliction and it can have troubling implications for mental health in the short and long term.
Luckily, there are ways to manage it—starting with self-awareness and understanding of what it is. From there, you can take practical steps to reduce or eliminate FOMO from your life and improve your overall well-being.
Understanding FOMO
Things we don’t understand are scarier than those we do. Mainly, it’s because we can’t gauge the risk of getting hurt. Getting a grip on what FOMO is will help put the power back in your hands.
What is FOMO and where does it come from?
FOMO is an acronym for “fear of missing out.” This term was first coined by marketing strategist, Dr. Dan Herman, in a 1996 research paper on branding and consumer habits.
Since then, the rise of social media has seen its usage increase. While social media is a major source of FOMO (more than half of social media users experience FOMO[1]), it’s not the only culprit.
The fear of missing out, or not belonging, is a natural part of being human. We’re social creatures. From infancy, we want to feel connected, bonded, and accepted within the wider community[2]. But, while the urge to belong is totally normal (and played a critical role in the survival of our species), modern FOMO is a definitively negative experience that’s exacerbated by social media.
Common triggers of FOMO
There are certain situations that will bring on FOMO. Identifying them can help you recognize and then deal with them. Some of the most common triggers of FOMO are:
- Missing (or not being invited to) an event, gathering, or party
- Being refused entry to an exclusive location
- Missing out on a limited-time deal or opportunity, like a sale or a financial trade
- Not qualifying for membership to a private club or community
- Not being part of an inside joke or not understanding why others are laughing
Imagine your knee-jerk reaction to these scenarios. Many of them are unavoidable parts of everyday life. So how can you manage your response and reduce FOMO-induced stress?
To understand that, we need to consider the impact of social media on FOMO and how it can contribute to a self-perpetuating cycle.
The impact of social media on FOMO
Historically, FOMO was less of an issue because we didn’t have the same kind of exposure to other people’s lives. To find out what we were “missing out on” we’d need to communicate directly with somebody, read about it in a book, or see a physical photo. However, in the digital age, platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Tik Tok encourage us to check up on our peers’ (and idols’) daily activities in an alarming level of detail.
The tricky thing is, social media doesn’t give an accurate representation of others’ lives. Driven by our natural desire to be accepted and appear successful, we tend to only post the ‘best bits’. Around 33% of millennial social media users reported that they have purposely tried to cause FOMO among their followers[3].
This creates the illusion of constant happiness. From the outside, people’s lives may look perfect—or “Instagrammable”. So when your real-world experience doesn’t align with the colorful, positive aesthetic you see on your social media feed, it can cause stress, anxiety, and even depression.
The effects of FOMO on mental health
The links between social media use and the decline in mental health are well documented. Studies have shown social media users have an increased risk for depression, anxiety[4], and even self-harm[5].
FOMO feeds into this because it promotes feelings of inadequacy, whether about your life in general or physical appearance.
Increased stress and anxiety
Feeling like you’re missing out on something is uncomfortable. Nobody wants to live an unfulfilled life, watching time pass by them with few significant achievements or experiences.
So, FOMO is intrinsically linked to stress and anxiety. The long-term impact of this can be life-threatening, putting you at a higher risk of sleep problems, weight problems, heart disease, and substance abuse.
Negative impact on self-esteem
Experiencing FOMO makes you feel excluded. In turn, this can make you question your self-worth. Don’t you deserve to be part of that event? Could it be that you’re not fun, attractive, or interesting enough? Is your social status not high enough?
(If you struggle with positive-self talk, read more on why we are our own worst critics and how to get out of our own way)
Data supports this idea that decreased self-esteem may motivate a detrimental cycle of FOMO-inspired social media use[6]. This constant comparison of every element of our lives (what we eat, where we live, the things we own, what we look like, etc.) can fast become an unhealthy obsession and damage our self-esteem.
Difficulty in making decisions
You might think that FOMO would result in the desire to try more things. If you have more and more experiences, the chance you’ll miss out on something worthwhile should be less, right? But in truth, FOMO doesn’t usually mean you become a “Yes Man”.
Instead, FOMO can be paralyzing, causing the inability to make decisions at all when faced with the fear that your choice may be wrong, and you may miss out.
Saying yes to get out of your comfort zone is different than saying yes to avoid fear of missing out on something.
Coping Strategies for FOMO
FOMO is a feeling and, with the right mental health tools and techniques, you can overcome it. These are a few of the most effective coping strategies.
Be mindful and self-aware
A simple method to combat FOMO is to practice mindfulness and self-awareness. Take a moment to acknowledge the FOMO when you feel it. Being aware of your emotions can help provide some perspective. Instead of focusing on what you are missing out on, or what you could have, try to be mindful. That means shifting your gaze to the present moment and embracing a gentle awareness of where you are currently (rather than reacting to where you could be).
This simple technique of living in the “here and now” has numerous psychological benefits, including improved concentration, mental clarity, emotional intelligence, and compassion[7].
Prioritize and set boundaries
Fear of missing out prevents us from moving forward with what we actually want to achieve, because we get stuck in what we could, would, or feel like we should be doing.
Take a step back and consider your priorities. What are you working on now in order to get where you want to be? In reality, what do you prioritize? Picture-perfect sunsets of well-traveled influencers might look great on your news feed, but what are they sacrificing to be there? What if your priorities are actually family and security? Your real-world prerogatives may not align with the dream world inferred by the content you consume.
If you find yourself repeatedly feeling FOMO when you interact with certain people, perhaps it’s time to unfollow them or reduce the time you spend with them. Or, even reduce the overall time you spend on social media. Putting boundaries in place can be great for your mental well-being and give you space to spend time on healthier activities.
Cultivate gratitude and focus on the present moment
Concentrating on being grateful for what you have, rather than what you don’t, is one of the best ways to combat FOMO.
Remind yourself of the things you are grateful for. One bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, as the saying goes. Re-align your thinking by keeping a gratitude journal. Or, just get in the habit of saying things you’re grateful for out loud. You could do it in front of the mirror when you wake up (or before bed), or even take it a step further. Take the time to thank your loved ones for the little things that often go unsaid. This can help boost your mental health but also have positive implications for the people around you.
And, speaking of your nearest and dearest…
Seek support from friends and family
Sometimes, the help we need is right in front of us. Opening up about feelings of FOMO and discussing it with those closest to you can be a relief and help all parties involved come to terms with the reality of it.
If you’re struggling with FOMO, you’re not alone
There are plenty of people out there in the world who feel the same, from all countries and cultures. But that doesn’t mean FOMO has to control your life. By implementing some of the coping mechanisms we talked about today, you can learn to improve your well-being and wave goodbye to the feat of missing out.
Don’t forget to give yourself a break every once in a while and manage your expectations for what you can accomplish in a day, week, or month. Creating a healthy relationship with FOMO is all about finding a balance that works for you, so experiment until you find what does!
What methods do you use to deal with FOMO? Let us know in the comments below!
References
- Hott, A. (2022) 25+ powerful FOMO statistics to skyrocket sales (2023), OptinMonster. Available at: https://optinmonster.com/fomo-statistics/ (Accessed: February 3, 2023).
- Over H. The origins of belonging: social motivation in infants and young children. Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2016;371(1686):20150072. doi:10.1098/rstb.2015.0072
- Seabrook EM, Kern ML, Rickard NS. Social networking sites, depression, and anxiety: A systematic review. JMIR Mental Health. 2016;3(4). doi:10.2196/mental.5842
- Memon AM, Sharma SG, Mohite SS, Jain S. The role of online social networking on deliberate self-harm and suicidality in adolescents: A systematized review of literature. Indian J Psychiatry. 2018;60(4):384-392. doi:10.4103/psychiatry.IndianJPsychiatry_414_17
- Buglass SL, Binder JF, Betts LR, Underwood JDM. Motivators of online vulnerability: The impact of social network site use and Fomo. Computers in Human Behavior. 2017;66:248-255. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2016.09.055
- Davis DM. What are the benefits of mindfulness? Monitor on Psychology. Available at: Available at: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner#. Published July 2012. (Accessed February 3, 2023).
